Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Finding my way

Weeelll, this is awkward. Looks like 2 years ago I started the blog, posted one time, then promptly forgot about it. So, lets try this again...

One of the things I love about social media is how many creative, I mean really creative, people I have met online and in person. You get to see people in a different way when you interact with them online. You learn who is obsessed with what, who has serious talents in writing and art and day dreaming. Who is funny and who takes life too seriously.

I think I used to be one of the funny people, and I still have my moments, but I have gotten way too serious over the last couple of years. I lost my mojo. And I want it back. Or I want a better one, if that is possible.

I have an opportunity that I have never had before, and that most people don't get. I am moving across the country and I get to start my life and career over, and do what I want with it this time. I have worked my rear end off over the last 20+ years to make it in the tax and financial world and I AM EXHAUSTED.  I may end up just doing allll that again, but I would really rather not. I want to do something I want to do. Something that will allow me to be creative, and look forward to doing that job every day. Ideally I would like to have time for my family and myself. I want a hobby, I want to enjoy my life...Is this what they call a mid-life crisis?  Hmmm, I guess I do have a strange urging for a sexy 2 seater spors car...so then there's that.

I have a question though for all you wonderful creative people out there....how did you decide what your "calling" was? How did you know you wanted to be a photographer, an author, and artist, a PR dynamo....how did you discover your muse, your calling, your dream? I have dabbled in everyhing from art to poetry and I have so many interests and a fair degree of artistic and creative talent...but I have no idea where to direct it or how to get there. I would like to try something, but I don't know which way to go....

Maybe I don't have a "calling" or a "one thing" that will inspire me and fulfill me...so what do I do then?

I have a chance to change my life, my career path and my future, and I have no idea what to do with that opportunity. I am lucky that I no longer have to work to make as much money as I can possible make. I can work part time, I can work for less money and concentrate on what I like to do or want to do..but at 41 years old, and doing the same thing sine I was 19, I have no blinkin idea what I want to do...

What do I love? I love art and books and helping and teaching and learning and kids (older kids). I would love to create beautiful things like painting and photographs, but probably do not have the skills needed to make a living at it. What are my skills? I am great at admin work and creating things in admin work like writing and power points and spreadsheets and office procedures and training people...but again, these are skills I have developed in my line of work over the past 20 years, not necessarily things I would choose to do on my own...yet I love helping other people with these things. I can organize and plan and record and...all these boring office skills. Geesh.  I am a freak. I am sooo confused. What are my talents?? I have no idea. I just don't know.

Any suggestions??